I’ve come from a family that complains about everything. So, I should know much about the causes and effects of complaining. And the trigger points. And how each gender typically responds.
I have grown up from this learning ground. In retrospect, I’ve realized I have not quite graduated from the School of Complaints because I’m still in elementary class at the School of Blame. Apparently I need to ace these programmes, then allow it to dissipate.
Sigh, What’s a girl to do?
“Well, right there,” my wiser self points out, “You are feeling that feeling of defeat without starting a thing. That’s because you feel overwhelmed. And that’s because you haven’t applied your magic formula.”
“And what’s that?” I mentally responded clearly irritated. “Well that’s because you need to see it. Write all the stuff that you have now in your head on this topic, or if it’s already weighing you down via your shoulders, then ease it off of your shoulders and unto the paper.
“But…. !” I was about to protest.
“And you do not need to have all the answers. Just start with what you have.”
“Ok.” I already felt some relief. I thought of what was at the forefront of my mind. It’s level of priority was of miniscule concern.
Let’s see, I was invited to a religious function and though the reason for attending and the person who invited me is not an issue, I have not been organized enough to put aside time to go. But that is nothing new. I’ve always treated outings this way – as an interruption to my weekend chores. So I go and may have a good time but at the back of my head, I know my housework awaits me.
My ego began justifying my actions by pointing out that I needed to tend to the ones I love.”True,” I thought, “But, I could have done both!”
“Yes, that’s why this situation should be the last event of you putting yourself through such torturous split feelings.”
And so my mind and my wiser self began to dialogue to find common ground….
Should I stay?
Should I go?
Whatever I should choose?
I don’t know.
The trick is to choose one
Then see if it feels right
If not try the other one
Does it feel light?
Is there a third option
One that you did not consider?
One that’s in your face like a mirror?
Know that what ever you choose
Will be just fine
as life will adjust
To ensure you get by.
So really you can’t die
Or be a bust
You ask, choose and enjoy the ride!
Blame and complaints are not even in the equation you see.
Says my wiser self grinning at me.
Now I can see, the situation does not matter at all. What matters is our attitude – we must first take responsibility for our feelings towards the situation and our decision-making process. I thank my wiser self for allowing me to experience clarity in decision-making and I sincerely hope this has been insightful to you!